Our Estupido Fanfiction
by SuperfluousUser
Summary: This is a little brain nugget that me, K, and my friend,C, did in our spare time. Most of this story is just crack. BEWARE THE OCs. Yes, we made Hetalia OCs. BECAUSE WE'RE BRAVE LIKE THAT. I hope you guys will enjoy this crack.
1. Chaper Uno

**C and I are braving the dark, deep waters that are OC and Crack Hetalia stories. PLEASE DON'T HATE US, WE ARE JUST TOMATO FAIRIES. Enjoy your crack fest~**

* * *

Chapter Uno

Rtica knew that "Scary Movie Night with America" was a bad idea, especially since it was her big brother, England's. Nothing special he ever made her do worked out; Usually it ended in the other person screaming from fear of her craziness or fighting. But that never stopped him.

"You just need some friends!" she remembered him saying while they were walking home from the last world meeting.

"I have friends!" she replied, staring glumly at the concrete sidewalk.

"You have *A* friend."

"Well, she's a good friend! And I hang out with Hungary sometimes too!" she started, kicking a large pebble.

"More. Friends." He repeated stubbornly.

"You sure are one to talk about friends."

"FRIENDS."

So that's how Rtica ended up with America crying into her shoulder with murderous coffee machines and a serial killer, who looked a lot like Austria, dancing on the screen in front of them. The dark room made it worse, every shadow looking like a menacing monster. She was glad she at least had the sense not to invite her one friend, Avalonia. Or rather, she had told her to leave her house. After all, America was her brother, and Ava hated scary movies.  
Rtica sighed, looking down at the tears on her blue plaid shirt.

"America, this is a NEW SHIRT. DO NOT RUIN IT."

France, walking randomly through the room replied, "My petite fleur, ZAT shirt was ruined ze moment it went on you."

Rtica growled. She hated France almost as much as her brother hated hi_m_. She didn't even take the the time to realize how outdated and stupid that comment was, when a _not so _crazy thought struck her.

"France, WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!"

He looked around, his slightly pervy blue _eyes _wide open. "I, uh, needed to borrow ze... Apple!"

"Trust me, this guy has nothing in that kitchen but whale meat and hamburgers."

France looked around, as if to find a better explanation on the blank walls, before making a mad dive for the open window.

Rtica smirked and turned back to the screen. "The killing is over now. See?" she said softly, trying her hardest to be nice, which was a strain. She looked at America and brushed a few damp strands of blonde hair out of his face.  
America looked up, glasses askew, but Austria the serial killer was back, resulting in a bloody-murder scream.

Rtica was about 2 seconds away from getting up and walking away, but she REALLY needed more friends, and that wasn't exactly "being nice"_, _according _to England. _

She decided that she needed back up. If she had to spend another hour or so alone with America, she was going to , she took out her phone and texted her other (only) friend.

_Avalonia. Your bro is freaking out and I'm going to kill him. Stop whatever "stuph" you're probably doing with MINE, and come back to your house. NOW._  
Rtica smirked, satisfied. Whenever she brought up England, her friend got VERY flustered.

In about thirty seconds, Avalonia texted back.

_I hate you. So much. FYI, I'm at Italy's house and he's crying because I have to go. YOU SEE WHAT YOU DO? … I'll be there in 5 min._

Rtica was so happy. She had back up! She let herself go back to the movie, but was still seriously pissed. England was a total jerk-face for making her be "social." Why couldn't he just understand that she LIKED having only one friend?

The coffee machines were taking over the screen time, and America's constant screaming was giving Rtica a headache.  
Suddenly, Avalonia burst in the front door, wielding a wooden spoon.

As if she was used to this, the female country flipped on the lights and turned off the television. She pushed America off Rtica using the spoon on to the couch's arm and yelled, "YO BROSEPH! IT'S OVER! GET OFF OF MY FRIEND! THERE'S BURGERS IN THE KITCHEN!"  
America jolted up at the word "burgers".

"YES! YOU'RE THE BEST, LIL SIS!" He pulled Avalonia into a quick hug before dashing into the kitchen. Avalonia sat down and sighed, rubbing her throat.  
"You better be happy I rescued you," She said to the Rtish nation beside her.

"My voice hurts from yelling. Also, I could have seen a scary part. I HATE THE SCARY PARTS!" Ava WAS a bit of a chicken, at least when it came to movies_; _a trait she had probably inherited from America. Ava suddenly noticed the slobber stains on her friend's shoulder.

"PPFFTT, was he 'snogging' your shoulder?" She asked, earning a glare from Rtica. However, she burst out laughing.

The two began to have a giggle fit for no reason, when they heard another laugh, belonging to none other than France.

"OHNOHNOHNOHNOHNOHNOHON!"

Immediately, Avalonia smacked France with her wooden spoon. Despite not hitting him that hard, a bright red mark was left on his light complexion.

"MY FACE!" he shouted, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!?"

"GET. OUT!" Avalonia screamed, pointing to the door.

"WHY IS EVERYONE TALKING SO LOUD?!" America said, entering the room with a mouth full of hamburger.

"BECAUSE THIS CRAZY FRENCH HIPPO WON'T LEAVE YOUR GUY'S HOUSE!" Rtica chimed in.

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME A HIPPO!?"

"YES, I DID, AND-"

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE, WANKERS?!"  
The unexpected arrival of her brother shocked everyone so much that they immediately shut up.

"Rtica, you were supposed to be home THREE HOURS AGO! I was worried sick!"

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to watch another movie! You can't just watch 'Death at the Pool' without watching 'Murder on the Roof' afterwards!"

"Just get out of here!"

Rtica sighed, realizing it was pointless to argue. "See you later, Ava. Bye, America. I hope I never see you again, France."  
France scowled as she walked out the door into the dark night sky. The winter chill wrapped around her, the slobbery area on the shoulder becoming icy cold.

_Note to self,_ she thought, _bring a jacket next time. _


	2. Chapter Dos

**Hey, it's K. As it will normally be. Apparently C is to nervous to write these, but I don't mind. That much. I just wish that I was actually able to not be socially awkward, even while writing a description. But one canst not have everything that one wants. Oh, and sorry for the lateness of this. I can down with a sickness called, "****I Don't Want To Do Anything Productive-Itis****". It was terrible, because I had JUST recovered from a bout of "****_Final-Flu_****". Those were terrible "jokes." I'm sorry for making you suffer through that. Well, enough of this boring thing (I don't even know what to call this) ENJOY THE CHAPTER!**

Avalonia skipped along the light grey carpet to the world conference room. Her brand new outfit was SURE to be a success, even if the shoes were slightly too dark to match her blouse. Hopefully no one would notice...

As she entered the conference room, she saw all of the countries chatting with each other, looking for seats. She spotted Hungary across the room and ran over to her, making sure not to scrape her shoes along the way.

"Hey Hungary!" she shouted, making it easier for her to hear over the chaos of the room.

"Hello, Ava! I have so much to tell-"

"IT'S TIME FOR THE CONFERENCE TO BEGIN!" shouted a voice that seemed to belong to no one.

The world nations took their places, America still standing, as he was presenting his solution to world hunger.

"Hey dudes and dudettes! I think that as far as our world hunger problem goes, it can be solved easily! We just invent a machine that makes hamburgers rain from the sky! It's so easy! Why hasn't anyone thought of it before?!"

"Because that is the SINGLE most RIDICULOUS idea in the world!"

Heads all around the conference room turned to look at the man who had shouted.

"Oh my god..." Rtica whispered, hiding her head in her arms to hide her bright red cheeks when she saw him stand up.

"What?" America said, eyebrows twisted in confusion.

"Wanker! I could pull a better idea out of my ass!" England shouted, walking over to him.

"You're just jealous of my idea!"

"Am not! I can think of TWENTY more practical ways to end world hunger!"

"Prove it!" he said, banging his fist on the wooden table.

"Why don't we make it rain some homemade scones instead?!"

Everyone in the conference room groaned at the thought of scones falling from the sky. Ava was pretty sure someone even made vomiting noises.

"HA!" America shouted, "MY IDEA IS STILL THE BEST!"

"YOU'RE JUST A COW EATING WHALE LOVER!"

"YOU'RE A CRAZY CAT LADY!"

"STUPID PIE FACE!"

"CRAZY SCONE BUTT!"

"ALIEN TRANSLATOR!"

"WITCHCRAFT MAKER!"

What happened next, no one expected. You could almost see their eyes get softer before they fell on the table in each others warm embrace and lips touching. No one noticed, but they landed on the part of the table right in front of Canada, who, as a reflex, shielded his bear's eyes.

"Mr. Kariono is too young to see such things!" ("Who are you?")

Pandemonium broke out in the conference room, all the while, America and England still making out on the table. Eventually, in a panic, someone set fire to one of Italy's white flags (Probably Italy himself), which he threw across the room. The flag landed directly on France's golden hair, causing him to run blindly around the room, crying.

Russia was going on a rampage, running around the room screaming "KOL KOL KOL". Rtica was throwing her brother's scones across the room, which exploded on impact with the walls.

Avalonia shot straight up. She was still in her bed.

"Either something is SERIOUSLY messed up with my subconscious," she said to herself, "Or I need to stop eating ice cream before bed..."

She rolled onto her side, seeing France in the doorway.

"What do you want?" she said only half awake.

"You sound just like Canada when you snore." He said, turning and walking away.

"W-what?" She asked the empty room after a few seconds, thoroughly confused.

Then she realized: France was in her house. Again.


	3. Chapter Tres

**I've finally reached the pinnacle of my existence: I, K, am stepping OUT of the cycle of laziness and procrastination that has ruled my life so far, and am uploading as much of this story as possible before I get bored and end up looking at memes. C would be so proud. *Wipes tears from the corners of her eyes* I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!**

**Just as a note: We do NOT own Hetalia. If we *I* did, it would be full of ships,(both romantic and sea-faring), Random "countries", and Crack. SO. MUCH. CRACK.**

Rtica was laying on her stomach on the hideous floral couch, one arm loosely hanging off the side. Her face, if it wasn't buried in a pillow, was completely bored. She was trying to think of something to do, but failed. The problem with having only one friend was that if they were busy, you had nothing to do, and at the moment, Ava was trying to France-proof her house. The only person she could talk to was... Her brother.

She propped herself up on her elbows.

"EEEEEENGLAAAAAAND!" she shouted through the giant house. She buried her face again.

He came running down the stairs, slipping on the last one. "What is it? Did France get in?"

"No," she said, the pillow muffling her voice.

"Then what is is?!"

"I'm bored."  
England sighed. "I thought you were in trouble!"

"Well I'm not. I'm just bored."

"THIS is why you need friends!"

Rtica peeked out of the ugly floral pillow. "I HAVE friends! They're just busy..."

"Why don't you go watch another movie with America?"

"Eww. No."

"How about I teach you to cook scones!"

"You can cook scones?!" she asked sarcastically.

England scowled. "THIS is why you have no friends. You're just too mean to everyone!"

"I don't need you to constantly control my life! I'm only one inch shorter than you!"

"And still not using the metric system, I see!"  
She raised herself up on her hands,in a push-up position.

"I WILL USE WHICHEVER MEASUREMENT SYSTEM I WANT!" she shouted, just as the doorbell rang.

The two looked at each other angrily, before Rtica left to go answer the door.

"OHNOHNOHN BONJOUR MADA-"

Rtica slammed the door right in his face. France was probably the LAST person she wanted to even look at for the moment, yet he continued to annoyingly ring the doorbell. She stomped through the living room, and without even turning to look at England, said, "It's for you."

"What?" Asked England, thoroughly confused. The only person who ever came over to England's place was America, and Rtica, thinking that he had some SERIOUS mental problems, always lead him to the living room. England went over to the door and opened it.

"OH MY DEAR RTICA, I'M SO GLAD YOU HAVE CHANGED YOUR MIND ABOUT ME!" France said, eyes closed dramatically. Before England could react, France leaned in and planted a kiss directly on "Rtica's" lips. England's eyes widened, but France held him too tightly for him to pull away. A few seconds later, France let go of the terrified British nation.

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO YOU WANKER?!" Screamed an enraged British nation, face redder than one of Romano's tomatoes. Rtica was cackling from inside, literally rolling on the floor. England shot a glare in her direction before turning back to France, who had visibly paled. England wondered why, until he looked down at his clothes.

His sensible sweater and khakis had disappeared, a long, red, buttoned-up coat taking their place. He had a curved sword attached at the hip, and a red pirate hat on his head.

"France," He growled, his voice deeper because of his transformation. "I will KILL you if you don't leave this place at THIS MOMENT."  
France let out a small "Eeep" and ran off.

England walked back into the living room, sweater and Khaki pants back in place.

"I hate you. I hate you SO MUCH." England stated simply, staring at his younger sister.

"I love you too, Iggy." said Rtica, sweetly.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT, YOU CHEEKY MONKEY!" England screamed, while Rtica burst into laughter, extremely close to falling off the arm of the couch and onto the floor again.

A few hours after Avalonia had kicked France out of her house, she paced her room, trying to think of a way to keep him out._ What does he like that could possibly keep him away? What does he hate?_ She thought to herself. The only way she could think was to put several mirrors at both ends of the street so he would get distracted and stay there, but that required several mirrors. _Where are you supposed to find mirrors?! France's house!_ She thought. She started to giggle, but then realized that the idea may not be as far-fetched as she thought...

"America?" she asked down the hallway.

"What?" America leaned out the bathroom door, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and his usual gravity-defying hair still full of shampoo.

"Ok so ONE," she shouted, "PUT ON A SHIRT AND TWO will you help me break into France's house and steal some mirrors?"

"Dude what?" he said confused.

"We go to France's house and steal some mirrors!" she shouted happily, "It's the perfect idea!"

"Uh...ok?"

"Yayayayayayayay!"

~~~LATER~~~

Avalonia and America hid in the bushes, equipped in full "spy" attire (Black shirts, pants, shoes, and for Avalonia, hairbands) waiting for France to leave. No one knew where he went at night, and no one really WANTED to know. The bushes kept out most of the winter breeze, but every once in awhile, a small slice of wind would through the break in the leaves and bite her nose.

"What's taking him so long?!" America shouted, "My leg is starting to fall asleep, and it's really cold-"

"Dude!" Avalonia whisper-shouted, "We have to be quiet or he'll hear us!"

"So what if he hears us?!"

"He will know we are here and we won't be able to break in and steal the mirrors!"

"You still haven't explained why-"

"Shhh here he comes!"

They watched silently as France left the house in a dark blue coat and poofy red pantaloons. He checked his golden flowing hair in a small pocket mirror.

Avalonia smiled a bit when he walked by. No matter how creepy and perverted he was, he was still hot...

Ava sighed happily. The wind was blowing his hair, the moon reflecting perfectly on his complexion-

America elbowed her in the ribs, and she fell over, rustling some of the leaves. "You don't LIKE that perv, do you?!"

"Of course I don't like him," she whisper screamed at him, "I just think he's cute! That's IT!"

"Ava liiikes Fraaaaaance! Ava liiikes Fraaaance!" he sang.

"I. Don't. Like. FRANCE!" Ava lunged at her brother with her spoon, knocking him on the ground, and hitting him on the head several times.

On the other side of the yard, France heard rustling in the bushes. "What?" He wandered over to the foliage and separated the leaves to see Avalonia and her brother fighting.  
"Uh... bonjour?"

America and Avalonia immediately stopped fighting and looked up at France. "Hi..." Avalonia said, embarrassed that their plan was foiled so early on.

"Oh hey dude! We were just gonna break into your house and-"

Ava covered America's blabbing mouth, trying to ignore him when he licked her hand. "-and give you a...uh... surprise party!"

"R-really?" France said excitedly. "Someone was throwing me a party?"

"Awwwwwwww!" Ava squeed, and America rolled his eyes.

"I will still pretend to be surprised," he said, winking, and then walking away.

"Good job, genius," America said, rising to his feet, "Now we have to throw France a party!"

"No prob," Ava replied, walking to the door, while rubbing her palm on her pants. "I got this."

Rtica was back on the couch, only this time she was on her back, flipping through the channels on the Television. Nothing good was on, or at until least she heard the familiar theme song being played on the theremin. Excited about her favorite tv show, she watched the whole episode while trying her hardest not to blink at the wrong time, making sure the angels didn't move while she wasn't looking.

Towards the end, her brother walked into the room, but Rtica didn't notice; she was too involved in her show. So, being the mean person he was, he decided to cover his face, just like the angels. Then, when she saw him, she would scream! It's the perfect revenge! He thought, with a small chuckle.

However, he heard the show end, and yet there was no screaming. He took his hands off of his face, only to find that his sister was directly in front of him, baring her teeth and fingernails.

"GAAAAH!" England shouted. Rtica fell on the floor, laughing her head off. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?" England asked, flustered.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO COVER YOUR FACE HAHA!"

"YOU ARE SUCH A...A...BRAT!" He yelled, frustrated his ingenious plan hadn't worked.

"AT LEAST I CAN COOK!" Rtica yelled back, just to annoy her brother.

"MAKING 'ICE CREAM' IS NOT COOKING!"

"BUT ICE CREAM IS YUMMY!"

"'ICE CREAM' IS STUPID!"

"YOU'RE STUPID!"

"TOMBOY!"

"OLD MAN!"

"FROG FACE!"

"STUFFY IDIOT!"

"STUPID HEAD!"

"BLACK SHEEP OF EUROPE!"

"OH, SO YOU'RE FRANCE NOW?!"

"EWW NO! THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

This would have gone on for at least another half an hour if Avalonia hadn't called and interrupted. Rtica heard her phone start ringing, and picked it up.

"Hello?" She asked, while England fumed beside her.

"IT'S AVALONIA! GET CHO BUTT DOWN TO FRANCE'S HOUSE RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO MAKE HIM A SURPRIZE PARTY." Rtica heard America screaming "THE HERO NEEDS HIS SIDE KICKS!" In the background.

"Erm...I'll be there in five minutes?"

"GREAT! SEE YOU THEN!" Avalonia hung up.

Rtica turned to her older brother, saying, "I gotta go make France a surprize party. Wanna come with?"

"Why would I go to a party for that WANKER?!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE TELLING ME TO BE SOCIAL, YET YOU CAN'T GO TO ONE MEASLY PARTY?!"

England sighed. "Fine. I'll go."

"Yay!" Rtica squeed, but her celebration was short lived.

"IF", he continued, "You make at least one new friend by the end of the party."

"Deal," she replied. After all, how hard could it be to make a new friend?

***dun Dun DUUUUN!* Cliffhangers are so much fun, RIGHT? **


	4. Chapter Cuatro

**Okay, so I apperently lied about posting until I got bored. There is something called sleep, which I was apparently lacking, so I woke up with my face on the keyboard. But never fear, K is here! THE HERO WILL POST! HAHA!  
Oh no...I think America's starting to rub off on me.  
****  
(As a note, Rtica's name is pronounced "Ur-tic-ah")**

"Ok", Avalonia began, looking at her phone and walking in a small circle,"I've invited Rtica, England, China, Canada, and Russia, so with you and me, that makes all the allies. Good?"

America frowned. "That's not how you throw a party!" He took out his phone and began texting wildly.

"America," she asked a few seconds later, slightly scared, "What did you just do?"

"I invited two hundred more people, plus I ordered an neon orange glow-under-a-backlight cake!"

"TWO HUNDRED PEOPLE?!" Avalonia shouted, "WE HAVE LESS THAN AN HOUR TO THROW TOGETHER A PARTY FOR TWO HUNDRED PEOPLE?!"

"Well yeah! It's gonna be totally awesome,sis!"

"WHERE IS EVERYONE GOING TO HIDE?! IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY!"

"I dunno. The ceiling?"

Avalonia sighed. "This is going to be the second biggest party I have ever gone too."

"You," America replied, pointing a finger at her, "Have no life."

"Thanks?" she stated, looking around. "See anything we can use for the party?"

"Don't worry. This guy probably has a bunch of food."

"Well what about streamers? Or balloons?"

"Pssshhhhh," America said, waving his arm, "We don't need decorations! We have cake!"

"But-"

"CAKE!"

Avalonia raised an eyebrow, about to tell him that "the cake was a lie", but immediately realized it was a lost cause. She walked over to the kitchen, looking for anything they could use for the party. She looked everywhere, but the only things she could find were a bar of French chocolate and some cookies. She left the kitchen and returned to the living room where America was.

"For a chef, France has absolutely NOTHING in his kitchen."

"It's ok," America replied, "There will be cake." He was lying on the couch, probably too lazy to care. Nonetheless, Ava went to an armchair on the opposite side of the room and began to sleep.

~~~LATER~~~

America awoke to the sound of the doorbell. "ALL RIGHT!" he shouted, waking up his sister, "TIME TO START THE PAR-TAY!"  
He opened the door, and people began flooding in. Somehow, everyone managed to arrive close to the same time, which made it harder for everyone to find a hiding spot. Eventually, though, everyone was hiding. America, England, Avalonia, and Rtica all managed to find a spot near each other.

"Smile!" Rtica said randomly before taking a picture of all three's confused faces, plus her bright smiling one.

"Wait wait wait I'm not ready!" Avalonia rambled. She fixed her glasses, wiping them off with her shirt, before saying, "Ok. Ready!"

Rtica retook the picture, unaware that the situation was grabbing the attention of Italy, who was hiding behind an armchair across the way.

"Oooh is that a camera phone!?" he asked excitedly. "I wanna take a picture! Pleaseeeee?"

Rtica smiled. "Okay! Here you go." She handed the phone to Italy, England glaring at her. He was trying his hardest not to kick Italy to set a good example for Rtica, but was finding it extremely difficult. Italy began taking hundreds of pictures of everything he saw, including an "interesting pattern" on the solid-grey carpet.

Eventually, they heard someone try to unlock the front door, and everyone went quiet. France walked in, flipped on the lights, and jumped as the voices of two hundred plus people all shouted "SURPRIZE!"

Not much happened at the beginning of the party, or at least until France made a speech that no one could really understand. He was talking in rapid-fire French, and everyone was sure not even France himself knew what he was saying.

"Bonjour! Je suis France et je fais un toast à moi-même. Je suis désolé, mais je me sers d'un traducteur qui est stupide, si ma grammaire est un peu hors, ce n'est pas ma faute. Je veux dire vraiment. Avez-vous vraiment que je vais apprendre le français juste pour un discours stupide dans une histoire stupide? Eh bien, je savais français quand j'étais petit, mais j'ai oublié. Alors joyeux noël ou joyeux anniversaire ou ce que jamais." *******

Several people clapped slowly, confused of what just happened. "Anyway", France continued, "Let's get this party started!"  
Music began booming through the house, and people were dancing crazily. After a while, the giant cake arrived, but America and Avalonia were the only ones really eating it.

England stood glumly in a corner. Parties were NOT his thing, especially when they were void of alcohol. Crazy American dance music was booming through the house, and people and countries alike were dancing with each other. At the moment, England was just tired, and had too much on his mind to be 'social'. But Avalonia decided otherwise.

"America!" she shouted at her brother. "Look at England! He's just standing there all alone."

"Then talk to him!" America said happily. "England loves it when people talk really loudly right in his ear!"

Ava rolled her eyes, but decided to talk to England anyway. She walked through the giant crowd of dancing people, and over to the boring, quiet corner where England was moping.

"Hey dude! What's-"

"Shut up."

Ava was taken back by his rude remark. "Um... Sorry?"

"Whatever," England said, starting to walk away.

"Oh no you don't!"

Ava attempted to grab his sleeve, but missed and grabbed his hand by accident. Immediately, England's face reddened, but Ava pretended that's what she meant to do so the situation would seem less... awkward.

"Uh... Dance with me?" she said, flashing him a cheesy smile, and a one-handed thumbs up.

"Why would I want to-"

"Too bad!" Ava pulled him into the large crowd of dancing people.

"Let go of me, you...stupid...pants..."

Avalonia giggled. "You're so bored, you can't even think of a reasonable bad name to call me."

"Stupid pants is a perfectly reasonable bad name to call someone."

"No, it's not!"

"Then think of a better one!"

"Uh...ugly...swordfish..."

England smiled a little at her remark, but tilted his head down so Avalonia wouldn't see. He failed to hide it, and Ava smiled back, beginning to dance, matching the beat of the song. England just stood there, not even swaying slightly.

"Calm down," Ava said sarcastically. "I don't want you to hurt yourself with those _intense_ moves."

"I just don't want to dance right now."

Ava smiled. "You afraid that I will show you up with my Ah-Mah-Zing dance moves?"

England smirked. "You've gotta be kidding! I used to be punk rock!"

"I can still beat you!" Ava replied, flashing him a cocky smile. In all honesty, she wasn't the best dancer, but she knew this was the only way England would be able to get into the "party-spirit".

"You're on, cow legs!"

The two of them were about to have an all-out "dance battle', when the track changed to a much slower song. The two locked eyes, unsure what to do in such an awkward situation.

"You know what?" Ava said, trying to change the subject. "I...SEE CAKE OVER THERE IMMA GO GET SOME! See ya later!" She laughed awkwardly, flashing him an equally awkward smile, as she spun around to get to the cake table. She managed to knock Romano over, and laughed at him as he cussed her out.

England's heart sank as she walked away. "See you..."

Rtica sat in the back of the party, flipping through the pictures on her phone. She smiled at each of the crazy fun shots, laughing especially hard at the pictures when Italy took over the camera. But suddenly, she came across a picture that had America, Ava, England, and her in it, and thought something was wrong.

She tried to find something wrong with their hair, their clothes, but nothing was out of normal. But then she realized what it was. It was herself.

Ava looked almost exactly like America, down to the glasses. The only difference was their hair length, and the fact that Avalonia's hair was more of a copper color. _Come to think of it, _Rtica thought, _Ava looks a lot like someone else...but I can't quite put my finger on_ _who_...

Tossing the though aside, Rtica focused on the main problem. She looked nothing like her brother. She had dark brown hair with light brown highlights, which would be perfectly straight had she not put it up in a ponytail that night. Her dark blue eyes obviously looked nothing like England's green.

_It's a good thing I look nothing like him_, she thought. _I don't have his ugly._

Despite the "great" insult, Rtica didn't feel better. Maybe they_ weren't_ actually related. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. They never agreed on anything, never talked nicely, didn't look like each other. Rtica didn't want to care that they may not be related. But for some weird reason, she did. The longer she stared at the photo, the sadder she got. She wanted to put the phone away and go look for someone to make friends with, but she didn't want to stop looking at the glowing screen.

Suddenly, she felt a tear drip down her cheek. _Why are you crying?_ She asked herself in her head. _It's not like he was ever nice to you! He is a jerk! He is rude! He is your brother!_

Her thought process was interrupted by someone sitting down next to her. She turned to see none other than England himself. "Are you okay?" he asked. For once, he actually looked concerned.

"Yeah," she said, wiping her eyes. "Yeah, I'm ok."

But he wouldn't give up. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." she said, going into "actress mode". The problem was that Rtica couldn't act at all, so between the sadness and the attempt at a straight face, she looked angry.

"Tell. Me."

Rtica sighed],ooking down at the picture. She said, "It's just... I was looking at how much Ava looks like her brother, but we look nothing alike. Ava acts like her brother, but we don't really act like each other." She turned to look up at him. "And I started to wonder... What if you're not actually my brother?"

England looked at his younger sister. After a moment of hesitation, he said, "Of course I'm your brother! Looks don't matter. Even so, it doesn't matter if we are related. You will always be my little sister."

Rtica smiled and gave him a hug. "Thanks, big brother." At that, Rtica realized that she had officially made a new friend at the party.

England smiled back, but immediately felt horrible. He just hoped she wouldn't remember who she actually was related to, or who took care of her when she was small. But for now, he was her brother.

*******Hello! I'm France and I make a toast to myself. I'm sorry, but I used a translator who is stupid, so if my grammar is a little off, it's not my fault. I mean really. Do you really think I'm going to learn French just for a silly speech in a stupid story? Well, I knew French when I was little, but I forgot. So Merry Christmas or Happy Birthday or what ever. **(Ya'll can thank C, and her childhood in France/ her google translate finesse for that Ah-Mah-Zing speech.)**


	5. Chapter Cinco

**Nothing really important to say here...so, I'll just...go and let you read...I guess...I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOCIALIZING. Anyway, READ ON!  
**  
Sadly, all good things have to come to an end. After a few more hours of partying, it was around midnight, and England deemed the party over. Slowly, the guests trickled out.

America boxed up the rest of the cake, and he and Avalonia made their loud departure. In about forty minutes, they were home, all too late for Ava to realize that she forgot about collecting the mirrors.

"I'm gonna finish the cake then go to bed!" Avalonia shouted at America.  
"Yeah, no. I think I'm going to go to bed, too." America managed to shove the rest of the cake in his mouth as he bounded up the stairs.

"DON'T CHOKE!" Avalonia screamed up the staircase. Something sounding like, "The hero never chokes!" Followed by choking noises were heard. Avalonia shook her head, trying to repress a smile. She quickly ran up the stairs and to her room. After changing into some sweatpants and one of America's old baggy shirts, she laid down in bed...

And proceeded to stare at the wall. _What's the matter with me?_ She thought. _I was tired, like, five minutes ago!_ She decided to give herself ten minutes; If she wasn't asleep by then, she would do something else.

She positioned herself so that she could see the clock, and tried to close her eyes and drift off. After what she was SURE was twenty minutes, she opened her eyes. _WHAT?!_ She thought. _It's only been THREE MINUTES?_

She realized it was hopeless to try and sleep. With a sigh, she grabbed her dark blue blanket and headed downstairs towards the computer. Glad that America was asleep so he couldn't bug her, she turned it on.

After it had loaded, she logged onto her account and then onto Skype. She looked at the page grimly, expecting no one she wanted to talk to to be on.

It was around 2 in the morning, and the only person who was ever on then was France. Avalonia had Skyped him. Once. She came out of the ordeal with a horrible experience with a drunk and naked "chat" with the French nation. France, of course, was the drunk and naked one.

Shuddering at the memory, Avalonia opened up the chat box. France was online, but so was England, to her surprize. England was rarely on, especially this late. With a bit of hesitation, she started the chat.

**Ava'sAwesome23(December sixth 1:42)**  
Hi England!  
**StarshipUK(December sixth 1:42)**  
Hellp Avalonia. Why arr ypu up so lat  
**Ava'sAwesome23(December sixth 1:44)**  
LOL That's for America to ask, not you! :p  
**StarshipUK(December sixth 1:45)**  
Well, I guess he's justt not doing his job. Not unusaul forhim. Butt why ar you up?  
**Ava'sAwesome23(December sixth 1:47)**  
Well...I couldn't sleep. I think it was the cake! :D But why are you up?  
**StarshipUK(December sixth 1:47)**  
No raisin.  
**Ava'sAwesome23(December sixth 1:48)**  
I know you! There has to be some reason for you to stay up so late!  
**StarshipUK(December sixth 1:50)**  
Well...I had som probemz.  
**Ava'sAwesome23(December sixth 1:51)**  
Dude...You're not drinking, are you? You seem to be making a lot of spelling errors...  
**StarshipUK(December sixth 1:54)**  
No...  
**StarshipUK(December sixth 1:54)**  
Maybee.  
**StarshipUK(December sixth 1:54)  
**Yes, OK? IS IT SP BAD FUR A GUY TO DRINK?!  
**Ava'sAwesome23(December sixth 1:56)**  
-_- I'm going to Facetime call you so we can talk, Okay?

Avalonia was worried. More than worried. The only time she had seen England drink really badly was on the Fourth of July, when Rtica called her over to help with England's "situation". It was one of the saddest thing she had ever seen. No wonder America asked her why she was so down at his Birthday party last year...she was close to tears.

_But__he's __my friend, _Avalonia thought, _and my BEST friend's brother! I have to help him._

She called him, and after a couple rings, he answered.

Even in the near darkness of the room he was in, Avalonia saw that England looked _bad_. Not as bad as the fourth, but pretty bad.

"Poor baby," Avalonia whispered, going into mothering mode.

"What was that?" Asked England. His words were coherent enough, but his voice was slurred.

"Nothing, nothing" Avalonia said, shaking her head. "But how are you? What happened?" Avalonia asked the British nation, concern evident on all her features.

"I...I...I had to lie. To someone important," England said remorsefully. His normally messy hair was now a tangled rat's nest, and, now that she looked, Avalonia could see tear tracks on his cheeks.

_Poor, poor baby._ She thought intereraly. On the outside, she said, "England, sweetie, will you tell me about it?" _CRAP!_ She thought, not meaning to call him "sweetie". Where did that even come from?

On the other end of the call, England sniffed, nearly breaking Avalonia's heart. _Wait._ Avalonia thought to herself. _Why...why is this making me so sad? He's my friend, but...do I like him MORE than that?_ She took a second to ponder her feelings about her elder nation. The fact he made her laugh, how whenever he smiled, she would too...how this was breaking her heart. _I've been infatuated with him and haven't even know it!_ She thought. She was suddenly filled with a feeling of excitement and hesitation. England started talking again, jolting her out of her thoughts.

"You remember when Rtica was little..." He started.

"Yeah..." Avalonia smiled fondly. She remembered playing with Canada and America in her younger days...

"Well...There was a d-different person b-b-before m-me." England said, trying to stifle his sobs, but failing.

"Poor baby! Please don't cry! You don't have to tell me..." Avalonia trailed off, instinctively reaching her hand out to the sobbing nation, even though, on camera, it was useless. She couldn't care less about what she just said, seeing as she only wanted to help England, and really _did_ feel the need to comfort him (even if it was through _those_ typenames).

England composed himself to the best of his ability before continuing

"Sp-spain used to take care of Rtica. H-h-he's her REAL big brother...And...and I d-didn't tell her the t-truth. So I lied! A-a-and I t-t-told her t-that I'll always be her big brother but I m-might not what if I die? W-what if I d-d-die and there's n-no to t-take care of her I c-couldn't live with her s-s-s-sad..." After rambling on like this, he started sobbing uncontrollably.

_Oh my god_, Thought Avalonia, close to tears as well. _He must have kept this in for SO long._

Pulling herself together, Avalonia looked directly at the camera.  
"England. Look at me." She said in the best commanding tone she could muster up. His watery, intelligent, green eyes looked into her blue-green ones.

"You will not die. Not anytime soon, anyway, if I have anything to say about it. And Rtica won't care if Spain is her biological brother or not, anyway. She loves you, England, and you mean the _world_ to her. She will NEVER leave you. Ever. And you DIDN'T lie. You didn't tell her about Spain, but she didn't ask about it. We can both break it to her. She will ALWAYS love you, and you will ALWAYS love her." The Avalonian nation finished her heartfelt speech, looking directly at England. England looked back, tears shining in his eyes.

"Thank you so much Avalonia. You...you have no idea what this means to me."

Avalonia smiled a small, slightly bitter smile. "I think I might have an idea."

"I really should be going to bed...it's past 2:30 now..."

"Yeah, me too." Avalonia agreed, with a small smile. She didn't hang up; instead she just turned off the camera, and began surfing the web. In his drunken state, England must've not realized. Avalonia grinned, waiting to see if he would actually hang up or not. Instead, she heard England speak again, quietly, but audibly.

"I-I love y-"  
Then Skype made it's customary "Bloop" sound, signifying that the call was over.

Avalonia sat there, with her mouth wide open, a strange mingled feeling of fear and hope rising up inside of her, wishing the camera would turn itself on.

"No no no no..."

Ava leaned back against the brown couch, closing the laptop lid. "What?"

~~~AT ENGLAND'S HOUSE~~~

England stood up, tipping the chair over. The loud noise caused a screaming fit ("YOU GET UP RIGHT NOW MR. CHAIR!" ). After a few more drinks, England decided to tell Rtica the truth._ THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME!, _He thought. Alas, halfway down the hallway, he fell on the floor and passed out

**:'( Those feels. This chapter was originally longer, so I had to break it up a bit. By the way, ANY REVIEWS WOULD BE AMAZING. FLYING GREEN MINT BUNNY STATUS AMAZING. **


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